a little note to england:)

Dear english weather,
I hate you. I want a summer, not a monsoon season.
Sincerly,
Everyone :)

The girl who sings the mind of every other girl on the planet...

Fine, I admit it. I've been practically stalking Taylor swift though youtube for the last 3 hours straight. Looking at old tracks, interviews, fan videos, even hate videos of her just so I can comment on them telling the person who made them to burn in hell. I love her so much, not just her music, just her all in general! And why do i love this wonderful lady so? Just read the title of this post and that is all you need to know. She sings the truth, and is able to tell the world exactly how she feels with a single melody. I believe that no girl should go though their life - especially as a teenager - having never used Taylor swift music to cry to or to get over things with. there is a song of her's for every emotion possible in a young girl. and it soothes me, listening to her music, knowing that she, and many other girls out there listening to her music as well as me, are feeling, or have felt exactly the same way. How does she do it?! I try to make any kind of emotion I have into a song and it and it sounds like a mush or a... well, not a song anyway! ...

'talk to the wind, talk to the sky, talk to the man with the reasons why... let me know what you find. I'll leave my window open, 'coz I'm to tired at night to call your name. just know I'm right here hoping... that you'll come in with the rain'
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FWK09EdsaIk

ahhh listening to that song now... Am I a little bit crazy? obsessive? Yeah I know :// but anyway, if you've read my other posts you'll know I'm soppy and you can't be soppy and not love Taylor swift! We all have dreams in life... And I believe that the dreams we have are all set around seeing what other people have done and being influenced by them. I started guitar in January, and before you come to any conclusions, it wasn't necessarily because of Taylor. it is something I've always wanted to do since i was little. 2 things I've always wanted to be able to do - street dance, and sing whilst playing the guitar. well i know for sure I'll never be able to street dance, so that'll remain a dream for all time. but I could already sing half-well, so i thought, why not complete the duo? if that makes sense :S now one of my dreams is to only be good enough and successful enough on that to meet miss swifty - or just somehow meet her any other way, like becoming a photographer and have to photograph her for her new album or something... that would be cool....
so you get the picture Taylor Swift's amazing and she can get any girl through any problem that ever comes around. i love her, you should too :)
p.s. sorry about my over-emotional post the other day, got a bit carried away... but hey, it's my blog, I can write what I like :) that one was a bit embarrassing though...

why won't you get the picture?

isn't it weird how we hurt on the inside so much more than the outside? you'd think our instincts would protect the the feelings on the inside as well as our outside, because pain on the inside is far more common and, a lot of the time, more painful that physical pain. and even though this doesn't happen, you'd think all these feelings would get better over time, and less complicated because you get a bigger picture by distancing yourself from the situation for a while to help you see it clearer, and in most cases, this is true. this happens. things get clearer and so you can make them better. but what about when they don't? what if you're stuck in something like my situation when time doesn't make things clearer, but just allows more and more fog to build up over the situation. what do we do then? our minds are constantly on it and there's nothing we can do about it. because we've already done all we can, but it's that other person who just won't get the picture. they're the ones clouding up the road, and at some point you're going to crash. I'm crashing. for god sake save me. just clear the road and lets drive down it in the sunshine, however soppy that may be. i don't want anything more than for you to love me the way you said you loved me. not romantically, not intensely, but like a blood relative. just like you said. i can't stand this any longer, we're getting further and further apart and the more we talk, the more it'll frustrate me. I've let you into my world, or at least I'm willing to, so please just let me into yours. tell me what goes through your head when the subject gets brought up once again. tell me why. let me in. just please let me in, because it's killing me every second, no matter what you say, it's killing me.

I wish we could stop time...

'take pictures of your childhood room, memorize what it sounded like when your dad gets home, remember the footsteps, remember the words said, and your little brother's favourite songs... i just realised that everything i have is someday gonna be gone...... just try to never grow up' - Taylor Swift

                OK, so I'm freaking out. Since when did I reach the age where I'm 16 next year and worrying about exams. Since when did my sister start a proper job, start looking around universities and talking about car insurance.
               That time of innocence and naïvity (if that's a word!) has been and gone for me now. The time when the most of our worries was who to partner with in ballet. The time when we all listened to was busted and s-club 7, instead of skrillex or Eminem  and all us girls owned 'pop princesses' and EVERYONE had a copy of now 63, or whichever one was out at that time. When we played mouse trap and kerplunk instead of COD or some other deathly war game, drunk orange squash instead of alcohol, and most of us coughed and sputtered over the taste and smell of someones cigarette smoke, instead of drooling over it, wondering if they had any spare.
               To me that time of innocence is the best time of our lives, although we'd never believe at the time, because at that age, all we can think about is growing up so that we could be a pop star or a princess.
However, it's the one we often forget. We think we remember everything about it, what our grandma's house looked like and the hill we drive to get our aunt's house, and the silly little games we played to keep ourselves occupied on holiday when our parents were being boring and reading books all day. We think we remember the feeling, but the truth is, it's probably just a projection of what we imagine a child feels like, and how we see a child though our eyes today. Just having fun and asking questions. But what we really must hold onto is the mindset. Because the mindset of a child is the most raw, perfect thing on earth.
Why is it that children end up coming up with amazing ideas that we're always amazed they can think of? Well I'm sure some brain specialist can give you a long, technological answer to that question, involving the chemical reactions and electric signals of the brain, but, call me ridiculous, I like to think there's something more than just chemical reactions to explain something so perfect...

'you won't find faith or hope down a telescope, you won't find heart and soul in the skys, you can break everything down to chemicals, but you can't explain a love like ours' - The Script

                 OK, so I know that quote is actually about love, but it can still relate to this easily!  So basically, I'm freaking out because everyone around me is getting older - way too quickly. But you know that quote 'age is just a number', well this only works if you have this mindset of that child you once were, running around naked in your back garden! This eternal youth on your mind only works if we, at least for a moment, forget society, forget crime and violence, forget the troubles of love between partners and focus on the love for your family and your favorite cuddly toy. As we get older, these bad things that make us miserable that suddenly appear out of nowhere, they're only there to keep our feet on the ground, but so long as you know that, and your feet are firmly on the ground, you can start focusing on the sweeter things in life that make it worthwhile, and brushing away the miserable feelings that difficulty brings our way. Solve the problems and get on with the finer things in life. And never let go of the child once were.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TVZ1Qf32NA0 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S2YXqgZTWu4

Never thought i would ever start a blog...

Since i actually had no idea what a blog was until about 6 months ago, it seems strange that i'm now starting my own. But things and thoughts have now been building up on top of eachother without being said, so much so, that it's now strove me to start one. This, along with that fact that my best friend's blog is probably the most emotional thing i've read in life (her blog is AMAZING! 'lovelaughlive' read it. but please give mine a little chance first :D ), these are some of the increasing number of reasons why i've started to feel like just my diary just isn't enough anymore. the thought of my children reading it in years to come, like i read my mum's the other day, used to be enough for me, but that niggling feeling, which i'm sure most people get in many points in their lives, when you want the world to know how you feel about something or someone, and just writing it down in a little girl's note book and no one seeing it for years on end, and if not - never, just doesn't cut it, i'm beginning to know that feeling more and more these days, and writing a blog seemed to be the closest i could get to shouting to the world about how i feel - without pissing people off or getting myself thrown into a mental hospital :)
well anyway, a little bit about me. currently in upper school, just trying to survive my GCSEs, then A Levels so i can make it to uni... not looking forward to my sister going to uni next year, won't be then same without her, however much she bullys me:) main aim of most days is to not get upset that i'm not perfect and still single, oh and to keep friends happy, and accept them for who they are - ups and downs, because i know they do the same for me and i know i'm just as hard to live with as they are, but i also hope i'm just as amazing to live with as they are - i try to be that for them every day.
well i hope you liked my first blog.. hopefully the next will be a little better! thanks so much for reading!!